My First Porn

SPONTANEOUS FRIDAY

In today’s world we talk to people all over the world. I can say hi to my friends in Africa, Australia, Ireland, you name it.

It is truly a great time to be alive. But there was a time when a person would have to go to great links to communicate with others so far away.

 

An Innocent Time

I was 15 years old living in small town USA. We were a year away from discovering HBO and ten years away from having more than a dozen channels to choose from.

One day at school a classmate of mine brought up the subject of pen pals. He told me about the ones he wrote to. Like the girl in Germany and the other girl in Paris and the super cool one in Japan.

He was big on Japan.

They taught him their language. They exchanged gifts during the holidays. Birthday cards were common and sometimes a gift for no reason.

Once he spoke to the German girl on the phone. Wow!

 

A Faraway Land

Excited by all this I asked how I could get a pen pal. He told me it would cost $10. The company would supply a list of names and from there I could choose to write to whoever I please.

He told me he had the address at home and all he needed from me was the money. I remember hurrying home that day and somehow found $10 scattered throughout my room.

The following day I gave him the money with a promise that he would submit my name and address and choices of countries.

As I waited for the list to arrive I dreamed of a day of leaning a new language. Letters upon letters containing adventures and history lessons beyond anything I could read from a drabby school book.

Maybe a phone call, I fantasized.

 

An Unplanned Arrival

I remember coming home from school the day the letter arrived. Oddly enough it wasn’t in an envelope but a plain brown wrapper shaped as a magazine.

Curious, I settled into my after school routine consisting of a snack at the kitchen table and quickly opened the package displaying the mystery in front of me.

Never trust a 15 year old boy with your money. I say this not out of opinion but of fact.

Allow me to explain.

My classmate had no intention of supplying me information that I requested. He did however supply me with a year’s subscription, courtesy of his father’s collection, of Swedish Porn.

 

My Young Eyes

For a moment my eyes failed to register the gift in front of me. Thankfully my grandmother’s eyes failed the same as she passed by on her busy day.

As my young eyes came into focus my new Swedish friend and all her pals welcomed me into their world.

Clearly clothes were outlawed in their homeland as well as shyness to the opposite sex. The pictures were colorful and bright and detailed in ways I had never imagined.

I don’t remember how I raced into my room so fast without jarring attention but I do remember being locked inside for a very long time.

 

Laundry and Refunds

Sadly it was laundry day. Thankfully I came up with a brilliant plan of asking my grandmother to leave them by the door. Come to think of it my asking was more like an order.

I might have shouted.

I never asked for a refund and I never had pen pals the way I thought I would. On the other hand I don’t remember complaining a whole hell of a lot.

Give a 15 year old boy a year subscription of Swedish Porn and all is forgiven.

Trust me on this.

So there you have it. A little surprise in a little town otherwise known as –

My First Porn.

 

Happy Friday Everyone  

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