SPONTANEOUS FRIDAY

Uncategorized 2 Minutes

Lost

For most of my life I have sucked when it comes to following directions. Even during my time in a small town I still had a hard time.

Allow me to give you an example:

You’re having a party? Great! You’re giving me directions? I can do that.

Actually that was a lie. I can’t do that. Imagine telling me to turn left on Harlow and to take a right at the first stop sign. From there you tell me to drive straight until I see a brown house on the corner of Barney Street. I guarantee you I will find myself lost on the highest of mountain tops.

Lost 1

Trust me. It happened. Long story. We’re not going there.

I recognized my following direction issue early in life and realized quickly for survival purposes that the only way to deal with this nightmare was land marks.

Forget the street names and stop signs. Tell me to hang a right at Billy’s blue house with the rusted Chevy parked out front and quickly turn left at Sammy’s barn.

That I can do.

For the longest time I was use to all this. It was something I was bad at. Let’s face it, we can’t be good at everything. Imagine how boring that would be. Even super heroes fail at something.

But on the day I found myself lost in an IKEA kitchen display I begin to wonder. Do I have something that could actually be found in a medical dictionary?

I’m a person of repetition. After a hundred times on the same road I kind of have it down. Give me a week around the neighborhood and I start to get a good feel. But why can’t I be like most people?

One time. One shot. Perfection.

Enter: Dromosagnosia

Of all the things I looked up this comes pretty close. Turn left when right is the obvious choice. A panic. A new place. How did I get here? No sense of east or west of anything else.

Call 911!!!

Maybe, just maybe this is why I get a little messed up.

I’m not sure what exactly to do with this new bit of info. On the other hand it’s nice to know I may have some company. There might be an entire town full of people just like me. All of us wondering how to get from point A to point B no matter how many times we’ve been there.

So if I every pay a visit to any of you keep in mind I have no problem renting a car once I reach your town. I have no problem driving to your home or favorite place to say hi. Just don’t expect to see for a while or ever again.

Oh, and one more thing: When it comes to a GPS. I’m pretty sure it has me figured out. It also has one sick sense of humor.

Lost 2

Happy Friday Everyone!!!!

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Published by Bryan J. Fagan

Author of the novel Dempsey's Grill. A romantic comedy that'll tug at your heart and keep you laughing. I'm also a short story writer, editor and full time dad. But not always in that order.

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53 thoughts on “SPONTANEOUS FRIDAY”

  1. Ah, Bryan, it is so nice to find a fellow LOST soul. I too have no sense of direction at all. It is frustrating because I am so good at most things. When I get lost, I panic, and then I can’t find my way from the stop street at the end of my road.

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  2. You just described me!!!!!! I have the same condition! No cure eh?! Great!

    Although, I will never..ever…break up my relationship with my beloved GPS. I’ll be completely lost! I guarantee I’ll drive to Bismarck ND, thinking I’m still on my way to Hope, BC.

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    1. I could tell you stories of traveling on a highway where I was positive I was headed to a certain town but I backtracked instead. Yes, I too adore my GPS but every now and then she messes with me.

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  5. I have never been able to follow directions. If its more than a sentence, my brain won’t do it. I am legendary when it comes to learning anything too, and can take a week trying, even with printed instructions!

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  7. I’m usually ok with directions as long as they don’t include the words “North, South, east, west” or some number followed by km lol!! My bosses do that all the time “Okies so go down to this street and then go north” like is that right or left?!? Come on!

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  9. I have this thing about getting lost when I walk back to a parking deck to look for my car. And if I walk out of the parking deck one way and I walk back in another way, fugetaboutit.

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  11. I have just the place for you! In my hometown of Brantford, if you ask anyone for directions they will give them to you by landmarks. Our roads change names multiple times, curve and change directions of travel, and in some places a street stops at a dead end for a ravine, but the street continues on the other side of the ravine with the same name. Landmarks are the only way to travel, lol. Drove my husband crazy when he first got here, but now he does it too. Have a great weekend!

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  12. I was grinning as I read this until I got to the IKEA part. Then I laughed aloud. Too funny.

    My mom has the same problem. She knows to turn right at the red barn, etc. We figured she at least knew her way around a twenty-mile radius of our home. We were wrong. There was a fire, the barn burned down, and it took her over an hour to figure out where the turn was to my aunt’s house.

    The pain is real.

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  15. Compass points are easy in Colorado Springs. Just look around for the mountains that are visible from anywhere in town. Always to the west.

    Me, I mostly go by landmarks, but compass points to supplement them. The only disadvantage I’ve ever experienced is if I’m riding with someone, giving the directions. No “three blocks ahead take a right”. Often, no warning at all. “The red house! Turn left! Turn left! Quick turn left!”

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  17. I totally relate. I cannot live without my GPS either and I don’t care how many times I have visited, unless you live next door, I would probably need your address again. Short term memory.

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  19. Before I reply to your comments I just want to give a shout out to everyone. I was positive I was the only one who got lost all the time. I now want to take a road trip with all of you just to see where we’d end up. 🙂

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  20. “They say…” once you can identify and the problem, it is your choice to do something about it. I’d reply, I just may like that little quirk about me that gives a touch of individuality and chuckle. 😊

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  22. I am the worst at directions too Bryan. I don’t have a smartphone, nor a GPS and I have to get really great directions to go anywhere or forget about it. I once went to a baby shower for a coworker … it was on the East side of town. First time going there and I had scribbled (and I mean SCRIBBLED) the directions … one little squiggle meant nothing to me so I decided to just wing it. This was before Google maps … it turned out to get there you must go via Little Mack … well who knew there was a Greater Mack and a Little Mack? Really people – name the streets better already! Obviously the squiggle was significant. I got there before all the gifts were opened anyway. 🙂

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