Cheeseburger my Enemy
To start with I made a typo that I happily discovered moments before I hit the publish button. Instead of writing Cheeseburger my Enemy I accidentally wrote Cheeseburger my Enema.
Now that would have been an interesting post.
I curse you dear photo
In the summer of 2009 I was looking through a collection of pictures that had recently been taken. Suddenly a picture of me flashed before my eyes causing me to gasp.
I was no longer thin. No longer trim. No long anything that starts with a T and no longer anything but fat.
Not long after this shocking development I had my yearly physical. The doctor suggested I lose ten pounds. I upped the wager and said twenty.
I remember later that day, while visiting my favorite burger shop, I wondered what exactly the problem could be. As I looked down at my favorite cheeseburger dripping on my favorite shirt I realized in that moment that I wasn’t the rocket scientist I claimed to be.
The Master Plan
The solution was simple: Instead of a cheeseburger every other day reward myself with one per week.
Simple, right?
Well, not exactly. At the time the kids had lots of activities which required a lot of driving. It was then that I noticed all the burger joints in town.
For a while I was convinced the cheeseburgers were following me. Wendy’s and McDonalds were running neck and neck while the always beloved Five Guys was gaining speed.
Their signs were big, beautiful and oh so welcoming. I swear they were calling my name. It was in that moment of name calling and sweet beautiful sign images that I realized just how hard it was to eat healthy.
The world is my deep fryer
It wasn’t long after this that I realized I no longer needed my belt. My shirts were snug and my back was constantly killing me.
Somehow I forced myself to turn away. No more Tuesday’s two for one specials with a side milkshake. Now there was this weird dish called a salad. This funny green thing called a cucumber and a red object I once saw on the Wizard of Oz the locals call an apple.
But the most shocking thing of all was the discovery that there are actual things in this world that are not deep fried.
I know, weird.
Mission Accomplished
By the end of the year I dropped twenty-five pounds. As the years have passed somehow I have kept the pounds off.
I won’t lie, every now and then I give in to a pizza on a Friday night but I do it in moderation.
I have actually learned to develop a fond taste of salad, red peppers and raw carrots. Sure, a juicy cheeseburger is hard to pass up but somehow I keep my head down and keep moving.
A salute to all of you who are able to run away from those tasty cheeseburgers. Keep your head down and continue the good fight.
We’re in this together!!!!!
Happy Friday Everyone!!!
Oh Bryan, you really are so funny. Luckily, I have never been one for fried foods.
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You’re missing out, my friend. You and I at an all you can eat fried chicken feast. It has to happen. 🙂
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Ugh my vice is French Fries and I LOVE bread. I salute yuh for your strong will.
Is there anyway you can challenge me to do my one week sugar detox? Haha. I think my prefrontal cortex ‘where my will power lives’ is damaged! Unless someone is there to say ‘no you can’t have that’ I’ll keep loving the fries.
I do love salad though.
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If and when I come out we’re doing a giant plate of French Fries and no, I will not share. 🙂
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I cannot wait
I am not known to share my fries either 🙂
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Wait: you said ‘we are doing ‘A’ gigantic plate of fries’ yah I think you meant ‘deux’ as neither one of us is sharing! ✌️
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And now I feel like a cheeseburger… why do you always do this to me, Bryan?
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You love it and you know it. 🙂
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The almost-published typo: hahahaha! That would have been awful(ly funny)!
i’m impressed that you lost 25 pounds AND kept it off!
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Thank you. It hasn’t been easy. Whenever I’m tempted I think of the back pain. Amazing how pain turns into the perfect motivator.
And yes, the almost-typo. Oh man!!!!!!
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Oh my downfall was chips! Chips and Soda, because you can’t eat salty chips without the sweet soda to wash it all down! I cut them out for lent my first year working as a nanny, so that plus the added activity from running after kids, helped me to drop 40lbs in my first year and a half!! I’m still hovering at that mark but that’s good for me!
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Wow! 40 pounds! That is excellent.
Out here in the Northwest we call it pop so you’ll have to excuse me when I say chips and pop. That is a tempting combo, isn’t it.
I’m happy to hear you’ve kept it off. Great news.
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Haha we call it pop in Canada as well! But while living in South Korea I picked up my the “soda” 😂 and yes it is a very tempting combo
I’m happy to have kept it off as well! Although I’d love to drop some more haha
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Thanks Bryan, and I too now want a cheeseburger for breakfast no less. If cheeseburgers were following you around, chocolate croissants have been stalking me like crazy. Hiding in the bushes outside my house, following me to work (and sometimes I’d find them in the office kitchen, bastards!). lmao
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Chocolate croissants for you, maple bars for me. Those were my evil demons in the morning. They didn’t have to chase me far. I would always slow down for them.
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I gave up Mountain Dew three weeks ago and gained five pounds. Turns out the sugar and caffeine were keeping my chronic illnesses at bay long enough for me to move like a regular human…
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Get back on it. Quality of life is everything and if Mountain Dew works enough said.
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I’m using a caffeine tablet instead. All of the fun energy, none of the sugar, and a glass of seltzer water with a shot of juice to replace the morning ritual. My knees (also part of quality of life!) are thanking me.
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Oh my gosh, the first title would have been an awesome idea!
Congrats on the loss. It’s hard to develop new habits.
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I’m curious what the comments would have been had I missed it. It was so close. You have no idea. 🙂
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Luckily “enema” stuck out like a sore thumb. 🙂 Funny post on cheeseburgers Bryan, and, if memory serves me right, you had your knee surgery and decided since you felt so good (except for the knee) you rated a cheeseburger while everyone else was nauseated around you in the recovery area. We have a commercial for Buffalo Wild Wings that just started airing this month in which they describe a bar burger cheeseburger, dripping with gooey cheese, smashed down so the edges are crispy … it sounded so good, I had to look at it online and enjoy it vicariously! Great ad agency in my opinion. Feast your eyes:
https://www.buffalowildwings.com/en/food/mains/burgers/all-american-double-burger/
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Yes, I forgot about my post-op cheeseburger experience. Thank you for reminding me. 🙂
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You’re welcome – you deserved that cheeseburger … you don’t have surgery every day. Congrats on losing and keeping off the weight as well Bryan.
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Ah, a cheeseburger is something I can almost never resist. Cheers to you and your resolve! 🙂
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Thanks! They are a never ending temptation, aren’t they.
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The cheeseburger in the picture looks delicious–no wonder you were having such cravings, but I admire your willpower! Why is it that the best-tasting things are also so full of calories?!
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I know. Wouldn’t it be great if raw broccoli had this awesome taste that we just couldn’t get enough of.
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Only if it was smothered in cheese and bacon:-)
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I have a weakness for chocolate and crisps, I allow myself treats on the weekend and try to eat healthy in the week.
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I try to put aside that one special day, usually Sunday, where I eat whatever. I love peanut M&M’s. Like you, I reward myself every now and then.
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This was too funny.
Fried food (if done right) just tastes better. I am yet to try a friend candy bar. The South is a phenomenal thing.
P.S. Milly sent me here.
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Thank you for stopping by and a huge thanks to Milly. 🙂
I once had a fried chili dog. I have no clue how they did it. I was hooked.
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I’m still on the fence with chili dogs. Too much going on.
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Besides all the lightheartedness, (which is terrific, by the way) I really admire your strength and perseverence.
Great post! 😊😊
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Well thank you.
In my younger days all I had to do was think about losing weight and the job was complete. Now I have to put some effort in to it. Darn those years. 🙂
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